I’m on a big journey. Moving from a place where I’ve raised a family to an unknown place by myself, is transformation in the big league. A place “as far away from America, as you can get in America”, my son-in-law says. 36 Years ago I arrived in Ashland with a husband, a 2-month-old baby girl, a 2-year-old daughter and a 9-year-old son. We had no money to speak of, so we bought the cheapest house available in town. It was the 80ties recession, and we got a mortgage at 11.7%! During our life here, we built another house and owned commercial property. Nothing spoke “home” like this place, though. This house grew with us as our family's needs changed. And I’m now selling this completely transformed house.
A NEW PHASE
My needs are changing. The children have grown. They’ve moved away and have families of their own. I buried my husband 11 years ago. In this place, I grieved and learned to live on my own. Because there was no WE and OURS anymore, I remodeled the house to make it mine. I planted a peony bush on my husband’s ashes in the backyard. Each spring, the peonies make me smile and I realize that love endures even after death. I embarked on travel adventures, took up rowing and long-distance hiking. After retiring from my day job, I became a published author. I lived my life and found happiness again.
Though I am blessed with strength and good health, my aging body tells me it’s time to live near those who care for me beyond friendship, beyond adventures, beyond inspiration. I’m moving to another state; it’s a place so different, it may as well be another country. From green forested hills to high desert mesa with the Rocky Mountains in the distance. My youngest daughter and her husband are establishing a “back-to-the-land” community. I will have a role there. My presence will matter; They welcome my life experience and talents and I can take part to the degree I’m able as I age.
SHEDDING A LIFE
Moving is one of the known major stressors one can encounter in life, on par with childbirth, marriage, divorce, career change. I’m making the journey from one home base to a new one. Each day, since I decided to move in July, I’m engaged in taking steps toward my goal. Like during a pregnancy, I experience feelings, anxieties, and excitement. My sleep is affected, my body aches when I move boxes and stuff. Instead of growing a baby inside me, I’m shedding the skin of a householder life. Memorabilia, kids’ toys, kids’ artwork, books, excess bedding, kitchenware, furniture, you name it, I’m Marie Kondoing it! I no longer need to house and sleep kids, when they come home; I no longer host groups, bake and cook for an army, organize neighborhood support groups, tend a family garden. The pandemic forced a transformation and catapulted me into being more singular; satisfied with my own company, and not in need of big entertainment. I’m desiring a simple life.
LIVING WITH MEANING
I want inner explorations; meditation, artistic expression. I want time to go slow and not be burdened by to-do’s. I want to do what has meaning to me, not what life demands of me. A small home, a small easy-to-manage garden, one bathroom will do; a living room for three visitors instead of seven.
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