A Big Move
I’m on a big journey. Moving from a place where I’ve raised a family to an unknown place by myself, is transformation in the big league. A place “as far away from America, as you can get in America”, my son-in-law says. 36 Years ago I arrived in Ashland with a husband, a 2-month-old baby girl, a 2-year-old daughter and a 9-year-old son. We had no money to speak of, so we bought the cheapest house available in town. It was the 80ties recession, and we got a mortgage at 11.7%! During our life here, we built another house and owned commercial property. Nothing spoke “home” like this place, though. This house grew with us as our family's needs changed. And I’m now selling this completely transformed house.
A NEW PHASE
My needs are changing. The children have grown. They’ve moved away and have families of their own. I buried my husband 11 years ago. In this place, I grieved and learned to live on my own. Because there was no WE and OURS anymore, I remodeled the house to make it mine. I planted a peony bush on my husband’s ashes in the backyard. Each spring, the peonies make me smile and I realize that love endures even after death. I embarked on travel adventures, took up rowing and long-distance hiking. After retiring from my day job, I became a published author. I lived my life and found happiness again.
Though I am blessed with strength and good health, my aging body tells me it’s time to live near those who care for me beyond friendship, beyond adventures, beyond inspiration. I’m moving to another state; it’s a place so different, it may as well be another country. From green forested hills to high desert mesa with the Rocky Mountains in the distance. My youngest daughter and her husband are establishing a “back-to-the-land” community. I will have a role there. My presence will matter; They welcome my life experience and talents and I can take part to the degree I’m able as I age.
SHEDDING A LIFE
Moving is one of the known major stressors one can encounter in life, on par with childbirth, marriage, divorce, career change. I’m making the journey from one home base to a new one. Each day, since I decided to move in July, I’m engaged in taking steps toward my goal. Like during a pregnancy, I experience feelings, anxieties, and excitement. My sleep is affected, my body aches when I move boxes and stuff. Instead of growing a baby inside me, I’m shedding the skin of a householder life. Memorabilia, kids’ toys, kids’ artwork, books, excess bedding, kitchenware, furniture, you name it, I’m Marie Kondoing it! I no longer need to house and sleep kids, when they come home; I no longer host groups, bake and cook for an army, organize neighborhood support groups, tend a family garden. The pandemic forced a transformation and catapulted me into being more singular; satisfied with my own company, and not in need of big entertainment. I’m desiring a simple life.
LIVING WITH MEANING
I want inner explorations; meditation, artistic expression. I want time to go slow and not be burdened by to-do’s. I want to do what has meaning to me, not what life demands of me. A small home, a small easy-to-manage garden, one bathroom will do; a living room for three visitors instead of seven.
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1/6/2022 07:56:17 am
So excited for you! I’m in a similar situation in terms of envisioning the next chapter after raising kids. You are an inspiration for dreaming big.
1/6/2022 10:58:05 pm
Thank you Kim, I'm glad writing about my adventures helps you in going forward. We need to stick together to make the best of life! Good luck, I hope you find your next purpose!
1/7/2022 08:54:32 pm
Hi Dami: I think I'm already subscribed but definitely don't want to miss excerpts on The Big Move...or to miss out on any communications from you, You Wonderful Human! I will miss you.
1/9/2022 04:15:57 pm
Hi Dami, I love reading about your upcoming life change. As you know, I've already done that. After 43 years in the Rogue Valley, which I didn't think I'd ever leave, here I am in the foothills of the Rockies. There were some rough moments in the beginning but I'm like you, satisfied being alone, which helps in the world as it is right now. I love my house, yard and neighborhood. It's quiet, peaceful and calm. Blessings to you, as you embark on your new journey. I'm excited to hear how it all goes. xo
1/9/2022 07:06:15 pm
It's interesting how we stay connected through our similar life changes. Glad to become your "neighbor" again! Stay in touch
1/9/2022 04:30:42 pm
You’ll be missed. I read this as I come back from a walk, and I think again of your encouragement, as I restart walking (again). You inspire me. I look forward to hearing of the next chapter in your life!
1/9/2022 07:07:31 pm
I'm glad you've started again. That's all we can do: start again and again. Be well,
Jennifer Upton Egan
1/9/2022 04:51:06 pm
Dami, so beautifully written. I will miss you. I understand your choices and yes let's talk. Hugs Jenni E
1/9/2022 06:38:22 pm
Looking forward to continue learning from and being inspired by your knowledge in this new chapter. Hope we reconnect some day. Sarah
1/9/2022 07:09:43 pm
So good to hear from you Sarah! I will forever remember our encounter with the blue whale. I have an inflatable kayak and the Rio Grande is waiting. You'll be welcome! Take care,
1/9/2022 08:41:51 pm
Truly excited for you. I want to hear all about your new home and surrounding area and your nearby family> Buon viaggio; buen viaje. Ve con dios.
1/12/2022 09:37:22 pm
Thank you Penelope, and thank you for waking up that little verse in my mind. Sweet memories!
1/10/2022 04:33:11 am
Best of luck in your journey and new phase of life.
1/12/2022 09:12:59 pm
Thanks for being so clear and objective as one can sometimes be looking in retrospect. Your comments go beyond that because there is no regret; yet your view is full of feeling and acceptance of the new phase of life coming in. How beautiful! Thanks for the perspective!
1/12/2022 09:39:12 pm
Isn't that what aging is about? Getting perspective? I hope you use yours as you decide on your next phase.
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